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Top 10 things I’ve learned while working in a funeral home.

05/17/2012 09:16:00

Top 10 things I’ve learned while working in a funeral home.

Working in a funeral home, I get to see and do a lot of things that your average folks don’t get a chance to do. Some people might view this as a good thing, since no one really dreams of working in a funeral home. Well, being the low percent that did dream that dream, I consider myself to be very blessed. Besides for the fact that I get to help people in a time when they need it most, I’ve learned a lot of good lessons along the way. I feel the need to share some of these lessons with others and that is why I’ve composed this list of my top ten best things that working in a funeral home has taught me.

10. You can never have too many pairs of black shoes.

I’m one hundred percent serious about this one. I wish I’d learned this a little bit sooner than I had. You see, when I started working for Lakeside Memorial Funeral Home, Inc. thirteen months ago, I had three pairs of black shoes. Two were your normal pair of black pumps, the last a pair of black wedges. I’ve broken four pairs of shoes while being employed at Lakeside. I’ve never broken a pair of shoes before working in a funeral home. That’s a pair every quarter. And let me tell you, when you need to find a pair of black high heel shoes that aren’t stripper-ish, it’s impossible. That’s why ladies and gents, if you see a great shoe sale, stock up. Because you’ll never know when they’ll come in handy.

9. Names are important.

People are really uptight about their names. This isn’t always the easiest thing for me, since I had a speech impediment growing up. I’m not kidding. I guess that it got so bad that my parents finally said “Screw it!” and hired this lady to come to the house to teach me how to talk. Well, maybe they didn’t say “Screw it!” but they did hire this lady. I guess it worked because I like to think I can speak just fine, but I do have my moments. This also isn’t always the easiest of things to do when you come into contact with someone of Polish heritage. I got lucky, since my last name is basically Poland with an SKI attached to the back if it. But man, if I get those Z’s C’s and Y’s in there, I’m crying. So what do I do, you ask? Well, when I meet someone, I’ll ask them their names, and here’s the kicker! I’ll actually LISTEN. That’s right! People get offended if you get their names wrong. So take the proper steps to make sure that you won’t.

8. Always wear appropriate clothing for the appropriate situation.

If you’re going to a funeral please wear a sport jacket (men). I don’t care if it’s too hot, it’s appropriate and very respectful. If you’re going on a job interview wear a shirt and tie. If your going downtown to drink wear whatever you want because you’ll be drunk within ten minutes anyways. People will judge you. You may argue that it’s 2012 but people will still judge you. And don’t act so surprised because you judge people as well. We’re human and it’s a flaw. I mean, think about it. What would you think if you saw a school teacher wearing seven inch high heel shoes and a skirt cut so short you could see all of Victoria’s secrets? You’re allowed to be yourself. You’re allowed to be unique. But there are still circumstances that require a certain dress code. Please, abide by those dress codes.

7. It’s all about THE attitude.

I look young. I can’t do anything about it unless I pay a lot of money to a doctor to cut into my face and change that. And frankly, I owe too much money for school to worry about it. Plus, have you seen my mother? She’s in her fifties and she doesn’t look a day over forty. So I’m pretty proud to have awesome genes, even if it means I look eighteen right now. And believe me, I’ve heard it all. People are surprised when they come into the funeral home and see me. I think my favorite line up to date was when I was standing next to my boss and this lady looked at me then looked at him and said, “Well Charles, I didn’t know you were hiring eighth graders!” I’m serious. But do you know what I do? I talk with them. I answer their questions. I hug and comfort them. People have said that I’m wise for my years. I don’t know if I agree with them because the oldest I’ve ever been is twenty-two. But I will say this. When I’m working, I’m in work mode. I can have fun and relax, but I’m dealing with people in a delicate state. That’s why it’s all about your attitude and how you present yourself. If you act professionally and speak professionally, people will take you serious. If you’re confident and can offer knowledge and information people will look to you for guidance.

6. It’s all about YOUR attitude.

I’m fully convinced that any situation can be a positive situation if you let it. I will never ever forget this one experience I had in an arrangement conference. This little old lady had just lost her husband and one of our funeral directors, Mark ,went over, kissed her cheek and ask how she was doing. She told him “Good!” He said, “Good?” And she goes, “Well yes, you see, you must go on!” If you have the right attitude you can take it one day at a time. The weight of the world may at times seem too much for you to handle. Just remember, keep putting one foot in front of the other. If you do that, you’ll have no where else to go but forward.

5. It’s okay to cry.

Which brings me to my next topic. It’s okay to cry. I remember when my grandmother passed away I didn’t cry. During her wake I didn’t cry. During her funeral I didn’t cry. At least, I didn’t cry until I had to get up to say her Eulogy. Then the tears came. And they poured. I don’t know if I was trying to be strong. I don’t know if I was ashamed. I just know that I didn’t want to cry. Now I cry all the time. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve become emotionally unstable ever since I started to work in a funeral home. I mean, being around sad people all day can defiantly rub off sometimes. But I do know one thing. I’m not that afraid to cry anymore. If I make a mistake at work, I cry because I’m upset at myself. I think this sometimes freaks out Charles, but he lets me cry anyways. He’s a good boss. I always feel so much better after I do. Why would you want to hold in those emotions and just bottle them up? Let them out. You’ll thank yourself later.

4. Be nice to everyone.

You hear this all the time as well, but I know I often forget it. People may be fighting a battle you know nothing about. You’ve heard that said as well. It’s true though. I may have just worked the funeral for that lady’s father who just snapped at you. Unfortunately, some people just don’t know how to deal with their sadness. Please always try to be nice. If everyone honest to goodness treated others as they wanted to be treated this world would really be so much better. And here’s an idea for you. Do one nice thing for a person everyday. It could be paying for someone’s coffee or holding a door open. Nice people really are just so much…nicer.

3. Save money for a rainy day.

If it’s for a broken car, an unexpected bill or to pay for an unexpected death, it’s always good to put a little money aside. I work in a job where I could make crap loads of money one month and next to nothing the next, so it’s a good thing to budget. You know, people don’t die Monday – Friday 8am – 4pm. No, they die whenever they want. Most of the time people like to die in groups so they have pals to hang out with at the funeral home. They also do this so they can look down at me from Heaven and laugh as I pull my hair out trying to get everything done. Or they don’t die at all, leaving me to fiddle my thumbs wondering why the human population decided to all be healthy together. But you get the point. It’s always good to have a little cash stashed, just in case.

2. Always kiss your mom and dad.

Listen. You won’t always have mom and dad there for you. Parent’s grow old and they pass away. Sometimes they don’t even grow old and they still pass away. And teens, let me fill you in on a little secret. You’re not always right. Actually, you’re mostly never right. It will take you a while to learn this unfortunately. And it’s not your fault, you see, you just haven’t seen as many years as your parents have. Life experience really does count for something and they’ve gone through what you’re going through. And even if mom and dad are your enemy right now hug and kiss them anyways. Do it for me. It’ll make them happy. And you’ll be happy you do it, too, because one day you’ll cherish those times you’ve had with them. So you’re welcome, in advance.

1. Love what you do.

This is probably the most important thing I’ve learned so far. My job is more than a job. It’s a vocation, really. I’m on call all the time, and sometimes it drives me crazy. But you know what? I honestly love what I do. And I’m going to be working for a very long time. I’d rather love what I do and have crazy hours and not make as much money rather than working for a job I hate with great hours and a lot of money. Money after all isn't everything. So love what you do, and be happy. Life is too short. You should be nothing but happy.

Lauren Polanski, Resident Funeral Director

~LITTLE MISS FUNERAL

Why would you want to work with dead people?

04/25/2012 08:44:00

I’ve noticed that I tend to not mention where I work when I meet new people. It’s not that I’m ashamed, because that’s hardly the case. I suppose that I just get tired of getting weird looks and answering a lot of questions. Because, you see, it’s always the same. I’ll throw into casual conversation that I happen to work with dead people and then I get the look. It’s a funny look really. It’s shock, mixed with the realization of knowing you looked shocked, followed by a failed attempt to cover it up with a smile. It doesn’t work. I already know you think I’m strange at this point. Next either comes fifty questions because you’re in a non threatening environment where you can ask me about the actual embalming process, the nervous “Well, at least you’ll always have a job!” line, or my favorite, “What ever made you want to do that?” question.

Well, what ever made me want to do this?

I’ve known what I’ve wanted to do ever since I was thirteen. Seriously. It wasn’t always funerals you know. At first I wanted to be a veterinarian but when my father told me it wasn’t about playing with puppies all day and if a dog was seriously sick I’d have to put it down I threw that out the window. After that I wanted to be a fourth grade teacher. Thank God I got over that. Sometime after I decided, “Hey, what about a funeral director!?” and it stuck. Thirteen years old. I must be crazy. Maybe. Actually, I probably am.

I have family in the business you know. So maybe it’s not that weird. I know, it’s still weird, but at least since I told you that you feel a little better, right? I mean, it’s not like I was crawling around in graveyards when I was young. No, I started crawling around graveyards when I got into my late teens. They’re awesome places to take pictures but that’s not the point.

I want to help people. I want to make a difference. If I can make one of the worst possible events that will ever happen to someone a little less horrible, then I’m happy. That means more to me then you’ll ever know. Plus, I’m doing one of the corporal acts of mercy so I’m hoping to score some points with the Big Guy.

If you walk away with one thought after reading this I hope it’s this one. Funeral Directors have difficult jobs. Please don’t forget that. Have you ever lost someone? Probably. Do you remember how you felt? Sad, possibly angry. If you were angry who did you take it out on? Most likely someone who was convenient. Someone who you probably wouldn’t see again so it didn’t matter if you were rude and difficult to them. Perhaps your Funeral Director? It’s not fair. I work twelve-hour days, sixty hour weeks sometimes for you; to serve your family. To make a difficult time a little bit easier on you. People have told me in the past that I give good hugs you know. Seriously, they have. If you want one all you have to do is ask. Maybe it will make you feel a little bit better, who knows.

~ Little Miss Funeral

Onward Ever, Backward Never

04/18/2012 09:24:00

It was a time when fashionable hats fluttered with feathers and frill, no sport team logos or sideway bills.
Dittos were pieces of paper with fading blue ink and a pass at the ball game was done with a wink.
Behavior and manners were not suggestions of rule; proper character, performance and grooming were mandatory tools.
Wash your face, say please, and stand up straight; we’ll teach you digestion, menstruation and a business vocation.
Toss in some discipline, music, customs and prayers, the girls of Vista Maria learned people still care.
Troubled, lost, but standing her ground; a shy, young girl I just recently found.
Tucked in a box labeled school items inside; a young woman’s strength gave me a sense of pride.
There lay a written inventory of winter clothes: three woolen skirts, three blouses, and gartered hose.
Cards and letters from mentors, family and friends; descriptions of a blossoming woman I didn’t know then.
Voted the brain and secretary of the Class of 1959; she danced, acted and sang. It was all before my time.
The doodles looked familiar, the crazy 8s and scribbles; my own notepads at work have the same sort of riddles.
My discovery this weekend is like no other to compare; I learned about my mother who is no longer here to share.
Her pieces of life all wrapped up so tight; believing in change and preparing for flight.
There’s no perfect epilogue here, no ending due; just a piece of my mom I had no clue.

*Dedicated to all the girls of Vista Maria (Est. 1883) Dearborn Heights, Mich.

~Roberta

Weighing the Benefits

03/20/2012 08:58:00

ARENAC COUNTY – Everyday, people make choices and decisions. Whether it’s how much one is willing to spend on a vehicle or what color to paint the kitchen, there are pros and cons that can tip the scales one way or another.

In business, it is no different.

I remember the first time I ever met our funeral director, Kirsten Turner. She was pregnant with her second child and was being considered as a back-up funeral director.

While she certainly had the experience and educational background necessary for the position, there were “perceived” limitations that immediately jumped out, such as little, minor details like lifting deceased and handling toxic chemicals - just little risks and realities of the job under the most strict and optimal conditions and circumstances.

I’m guessin’ my thoughts at that point were similar to the thoughts of many families when Kirsten or I enter a home to make a removal of a deceased. Yes, it’s the 21st Century, but people are still shocked to see a woman in the business, despite the fact that as of 2010, more than 50 percent of mortuary science classrooms were dominated by females.

As women, there certainly are “perceived” and sometimes actual limitations in the field, but no two people – male or female - should be painted with the same makeup brush.

I will be the first to admit that I cannot lift as many pounds as some of my male counterparts. I just don’t have the upper body strength that even Kirsten possesses.

After five years in the business, though, I’ve learned that any aid in lifting – be it human or mechanical – should be embraced and not feared, if not for increasing safety reasons and/or reducing injury in the workplace, alone.

Just the same, for some it’s easy to slip into a pit of assumptions and overlook qualities that may be just as valuable or carry even more weight than the physical abilities and characteristics staring at you in the face.

Kirsten, like any other female or male funeral director, car salesman, or other professional, needs to be judged on individual merit and qualifications as a whole package. Just because a person can lift 150-pounds, does not a good funeral director make.

Compassion, care, professionalism, expertise, attention-to-detail, education and experience, all comprise the complete funeral professional package and all need to be weighed.

If not, you may one day discover that the load you bare is heavier than what you tossed aside.

~Roberta

How to deal with your own loved ones death?

02/28/2012 10:10:00

Lately death has become this ominous shadow lingering in the forefront of my mind. Pathology has turned me into hypochondriac and germ phobic while thanatology has me stuck in anticipatory grief over the idea of eventually losing a loved one, an experience I have yet to go through. Sometimes I wonder how I'll emotionally handle those cases that hit too close to home, or handle the funeral of a young child. Friends and family joke about me embalming them, making sure to list their last wishes for their funeral. Thinking about preparing someone close to me for their funeral, let alone not having that person in my world any more is very unsettling. I know I am not alone in these thoughts and am curious to know how other women in this profession or students have worked through/ are working through these feelings. Personally, I pray for guidance and to have my fears transition into understanding and thankfulness. I also wash my hands more haha. I do feel that I've become more appreciative of life since I started this program. My family and close friends mean more to me than ever before. Parts of my life that were taken for granted are valued much more. I can’t wait to try new experiences or go on a new adventure. Some days dying and loss is a lot harder to think about then others, but having it on my mind has made the good days even better.

~Gaea

Inside the business, behind the scenes

02/20/2012 12:02:00

ARENAC COUNTY – When we aren’t dressed in our traditional black garb, showing respect for the deceased or as Christian tradition would have it – wearing black to symbolize the earth through the interpretation of the biblical verse “ashes to ashes and dust to dust,” we in the funeral business could be mistaken on any day for the housekeeper; handy-man; or even the landscaper.

One of the biggest misnomers is that funeral home employees wait around for the phone to ring. On the contrary, at least for our small firm, our days are filled with paperwork and other normal responsibilities of owning a small business, including but not limited to, meeting and following up with families; cleaning bathrooms and vehicles; weeding gardens; shoveling snow; changing light bulbs; washing laundry; fixing broken door bells; following through on insurance claims and merchandise orders; and, on occasion, finding the source of a smell that turns out to be nothing more than stale water sitting in a drain trap in the men’s bathroom.

Yes, on the outside it appears, we’re waiting for the phone to ring, but it’s the down time that we use to regroup; reorganize; and improve.

Efficiency is essential in our business. When dealing with death, we only have one chance to get things right. There are no do-overs, and that is the premise we operate at our firm. Do it exceptionally well the first time and provide the dignity and respect the deceased deserves and the peace, closure and comfort that the family needs. Of course, there are times when we wish we were miracle workers, but we do the best humanly possible.

In any business, however, there is always room for improvement, and we are always striving to be better. Sometimes, we learn from our mistakes, like, ‘it’s always a good idea to have more than one sound recording of “Amazing Grace” or it is behooving to do a drive-by the cemetery prior to burial to ensure the cemetery did its job and cleared the snow-covered two-tracks for the family.

Other times, we’re ahead of the game and implement measures that we think will ease the burden of families, like creating and providing families with checklists, so they aren’t confused with the many tasks at hand or delivering flowers to the family’s home, so they are not rushed through their funeral luncheon. These improvements are not necessarily visual and tangible items, say as a tin roof or new furniture, but they are improvements that take time, thought and implementation to work flawlessly.

It’s also the time we’re scrubbing floors for stains; unloading shipments from semis; and making repairs to the facilities, which includes assessing the problems; getting appraisals; scheduling the work; and having the work completed before the next family arrives. It’s a juggling act to say the least.

We also know that there is no discrimination in death, and it occurs at all hours of the day and night. Needless to say, the downtime is, therefore, also used to regroup with personal responsibilities. The lawn that was half-mowed on Saturday when the phone rang to pick up grandma, can now be completed, even though you might as well start from row one now because it appears the grass didn’t stop growing while you were away for three days. The bills that you attempted to write out at 9 p.m. after the kids were in bed and before Aunt Mable died can now be completed and mailed.

It’s also a good time to complete errands such as doctor appointments and/or grocery shopping; especially considering the last half-filled grocery cart was left in the middle of the IGA aisle when the call came in for Uncle Buck.

Yes, after nearly five years at the funeral home, it’s amazing what can be learned about “downtime” in the business.

~Roberta

The rewards are in the relationships

02/08/2012 14:20:00

ARENAC COUNTY - One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned in life is to enjoy your life’s work. So, it’s reasonable to wonder how it is that people in the funeral business can possibly like their jobs.

I usually find myself in a quandary when broached with the question. After all, it’s not like we get up in the morning with jubilation and joy in our step, knowing what the day’s duties will entail.

On the contrary, on funeral day, it’s usually something more like a gob of tar in the gut about the size of a football that takes occupancy rent –free up until the point that only a glimmer of taillight is seen from the last family vehicle, exiting the cemetery where their loved one will rest for eternity.

It is most often only then that there is a sigh expelled from the depths of the lungs, allowing the knot in the bellows of the abdomen to dissipate. A relief; a time for reflection; and the mechanics of the job begin again.

There’s no glamour to burying the dearly departed, but it can be rewarding, far more, than meets the eye.

At our small firm, acquaintances become friends; and what used to be simple waves to strangers on the morning streets now become longer chats; hugs; and sometimes tears outside the post office doors.

And the family stories, challenges, lessons and laughs shared, learned and cherished – all moments of inspiration and reward.

Just recently a widower, let’s call him Henry for this blog’s sake, came into our chapel to pay his respects for a neighbor who also suffered a loss. It was great to see Henry and even more of a relief when he appeared to be healthy, peaceful and sincerely chipper, since the loss of his lovely wife months prior. He seemed to be progressing quite well.

When asked what he had been up to, he discussed the normal ever-exhausting estate work, but added excitedly that he had also recently purchased a new loveseat for his home. I suppose it’s not that unusual of an act for someone to be excited about a piece of furniture, but I really can’t remember a time when my late husband ever yanked about a couch. Maybe, a recliner chair, television or stereo system, but never a couch. But, hey, if Henry was excited about a loveseat it was a good enough reason to share in his enthusiasm. … What type of couch did you buy Henry? Well, it’s a blue Harley Davidson two-seater ... It’s sittin’ in my living room, he says, adding he’s pretty sure he can still ride and will swing by the funeral chapel in the spring to show it off.

Yes Henry, God-willing, we know you will be droppin’ in because we know you have the spirit and the spunk to achieve whatever you set your heart on.

God bless you and all of our families who reward us with the gift of friendship and teach us daily about character, strength, courage and so much more. The blessings go to you.

~Roberta

New Semester, Pet Funerals, Maui & Starting Over!!!

01/24/2012 09:21:00

The new semester at Cypress College has started. I feel a lot more excited this semester with my class load. I've decided to split up my second semester mortuary classes and take some classes I'll need for transferring after I finish at cypress. I'm taking thanatology 2 and A+P 2 in the mortuary science program, along with critical thinking, math 40, and step aerobics. I found myself questioning my career decision while repeating A+P 1 last semester and over the winter break. I felt very bored in school and uninterested in the funeral world. At a family function a friend of mine was asking about the funeral service business and we started talking about how being involved in planning and preparing a loved one’s funeral can be a very helpful step in the grieving process. I saw her a couple weeks later and she told me her pet had passed away. She said what we talked about really helped her. She was very involved in his journey, grooming and washing him when she felt his end was nearing. She reminded me why I wanted to get into this industry; I wanted a career that would give me the opportunity to help people in their time of need. After looking over my lecture outlines and reading some assigned text book materiel for my mortuary science classes I've become really excited again to start learning new information. Visiting my mom and sisters in Maui over the winter break really improved my mood and outlook on school as well. Speaking of Maui, it was such a beautiful place with the friendliest people I have ever met. I'm really glad to know my sisters are growing up in such a positive environment. I had an awesome time teaching them how to paddle board surf. I couldn’t believe how good my youngest sister was, standing up paddling into the ocean all by herself! My poor fiancé had to stay home and work but hopefully he'll be able to come with me over the summer. We had some problems towards the end of last semester. We both got into party mode over the summer and didn’t get out of it once I was in school again just repeating a class. We were drinking too much too often. I woke up one morning, hung over, depressed, with bags under my eyes and it hit me, we had crossed the line into alcoholism. We had a long talk and I told him I couldn’t stay with him if he couldn’t stop drinking with me (I knew I couldn’t stop alone and watch him drink). He agreed it was getting out of control so we quit. We've had a couple slip ups on the holidays but neither of us has been "drunk" since we talked. We both feel great, I lost some weight and he feels more focused at the office and is feeling healthier. I'm looking forward to this New Year, a healthier life style, new classes, and saving to go see my baby sisters again this summer. Hope everyone enjoyed this winter season and has a great 2012! Toodles!

~Gaea

Getting the word out

01/12/2012 13:30:00

ARENAC COUNTY – One out of 13 people on earth did it last year; 28 percent of the people do it before getting out of bed each morning; and statistics show more and more college kids and middle-aged adults are getting into it.

I must confess, I had heard about it before. I wasn’t that naïve. My friends were open about it and always willing to share with me, even encourage me to try it. But I always animatedly said, “No.” I had heard once you tried it, it was hard to stop. I also knew that it was easily accessible in our area, so resisted for at least one year before my older sisters introduced it to me.

Sure I was in shock. As I said, I was younger, and here I was with my “older” sisters pushing it on me.

So there I was, Turner, Michigan Feb. 3, 2010. I, Roberta House-Forshee, officially crossed over to the “dark side” or that’s what my sister scribed, when she saw that I had converted my ways. Yes, Argentina, New Zealand and Germany, I officially joined the largest social network in the world – Facebook - a place where baby pictures are posted; friends mingle; people dump one another; and employees, on occasion, insult the boss.

Facebook is an ingenious social phenomenon, and used correctly with a little common sense, can be a fantastic communication tool, not only for social reasons but job networking and marketing. After all, had I never taken those dreaded and feared steps to enter the abyss of social networking, I may never have been inclined to contact the Funeral Divas to write this blog. Needless to say, I am here, and am in contact with old friends as far away as New Zealand, Germany and Hawaii. I communicate with business associates, and as of last year, the funeral home began posting its obituaries on a Facebook business page.

The business page has been a wonderful community resource for obtaining service information on deceased, especially since there has been a decline in print media services – both as a result of a poor economy and the inundation of “instantaneous” news sources, such as Facebook.

But while Facebook has numerous advantages, people must understand the scope and reach of their posts before they hit “enter.” According to digitalbuzzblog.com, more than 500-million people are users of Facebook and 57 percent of people talk to each other more online than they do in person. So, what does that say to you?

My suggestion to all those who may not have crossed over yet, and for those who haven’t yet figured it out, take heed in what you tap out as your status or post to your wall, because no matter how inviting or at ease you feel with sharing your thoughts and life experiences online, you must know that one click of the enter button, doesn’t send your message into an imaginary world of computer word scramble where Facebook drones obliterate the message into a fiery dust ball that crashes and burns on some remote island near Fiji. No, when you hit that enter button, your message has the potential of reaching not only your friends, but friends of friends and yes, the public, which indeed means if you don’t want someone advertising your personal stuff on the next Jerry Springer show or having it brought up at your next job interview, you may think twice before hitting that enter key.

Best of Luck. TTYL

~Roberta

College freshman inspires old dog

12/26/2011 08:37:00

ARENAC COUNTY – Okay, so I’ve been struggling for seven days over what I should be writing for this blog. Coming short on all ideas or sparks of inspiration of which I could formulate into a comprehensive string of words and/or paragraphs, I resolved in my head that I may have to tell the Divas, I got writer’s block on my third blog.

And as inviting of an idea as that was, at my middle-age status, I really just prayed that God would inspire me, like, any time now.

In the meantime, I was busy with everyday tasks; work, trying to get a bit of holiday hoopla in here and there, and, as a part of my routine, the daily perusal of Facebook.

It was Dec. 7 when my niece, a December 2011 graduate of Central Michigan University, posted a video on her Facebook Wall, commenting that it had a great message or something of the sorts. It also had some initials in the message, but accepting of the fact that as a “dumb phone” user, I do not know the lingo used during conversations of “smart phone” users, I didn’t really have time to decipher the “code” that she was conveying to her college-aged friends. I was sure it was something an aunt didn’t or wouldn’t want to know or probably see.

A day later, while checking messages, something in my head reminded me to go to my niece’s page and watch the video. I did, and I was amazed and still am with its message, clearly worth sharing.

There sitting hunched over a desktop in front of a computer webcam at Michigan State University, sat a somber, buzz-cut college freshman, flipping marker-laden notecards, to the tune of “Your Hand in Mine” by Explosions in the Sky. Okay, don’t feel bad. I didn’t know that song or band prior to this video either, but back to the point. The kid in the video on each unedited, penned and crudely-written card revealed to the world his most inner, raw and organic thoughts, feelings and faith, with one underlying message – ELE: Everybody Love Everybody.

The video, which addresses death, depression and suicide, aimed to reach and comfort the members of his small hometown of Rockford, Michigan, where his best friend, Stephen May, and several other teens had passed away in tragic accidents or suicide. For him, it was only a small message of hope.

Fourteen days after posting “My Story,” on You Tube, though, Jacob Schemmel is finding out his simple message is reaching far beyond the confines of his poster-pasted dorm room in Lansing, Michigan or the basketball courts of Rockford High School, where he tossed the ball until his graduation in 2010. With a Facebook account jammed with friend requests; hundreds of comments of life-saving gratitude; and nearly 1 million video views from around the world, Schemmel’s wisdom extends beyond his young years.

Depression, death and suicide aren’t the most comforting or appropriate topics to discuss over crumpets and tea, or on You Tube, but somehow Jacob does it in such a way that it’s saving young lives and inspiring all walks of life. It’s a great message for the New Year and worth sharing: http://youtu.be/0dgadTcVu60

Happy New Year, and E.L.E.

~Roberta